BROKEN NEWS: Ben and Jerry’s Release Revenge Flavoured Ice Cream

ice cream

Fans around the world have gone into a frosty frenzy over the sudden announcement of a new Ben & Jerry’s flavour. The globally loved ice cream company have surprised their dedicated following with a decidedly unorthodox flavour: Rocky Revenge. This major break from the company’s previous themes of fruit, confectionery and nut flavour palettes, is believed to be the first time an emotion has been turned into an ice cream flavour.

In response to the outpour of excitement, Ben & Jerry’s released a statement on their Facebook page detailing their inspiration behind the flavour: “After covering so many similar flavour palettes, the suggestion of another fruit flavour led us to say ‘Ben there, done that’. Upon yet another summer intern proposing ‘StrawJerry Shortcake’ for the 37th time, we decided it was time to give that route the cold shoulder. We’d often heard that revenge was a dish best served cold, but also that revenge is sweet; so we decided to take the idea and run with it.”

‘Rocky Revenge’ is set to have a similar taste and texture to the very common ‘Rocky Road’ flavour, but will feature actual crushed rocks, and 90% dark chocolate to emulate the bitter aftertaste felt after committing an act of petty revenge. Fans have already begun lining the streets outside Ben and Jerry’s store around the world, despite the release date not having been confirmed yet. Many eagerly wearing the signature Ben and Jerry’s pint tubs on their heads, and T-shirts that read ‘WE LOVE BJS. THE TASTE IS AMAZING.’

It is believed there will be plans for more abstract flavours in the future including: ‘Disappointment Delight’, aimed to replicate the emotions that B&J’s respective parents felt upon finding out their children wanted to become ice cream makers instead of lawyers; ‘Applesolutely Anxious’, reproducing the type of emotion someone feels just before meeting their partner’s family combined with a sharp green apple sourness; ‘Salty Shame’, a salted caramel flavour with a distinct lack of caramel and self-respect; and lastly, ‘Melon-choly’, a flavour made entirely from out-of-season melons and inner demons.

Kevin Long

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