They’ve been called “f*cked up” on Monash StalkerSpace, The Herald Sun labeled them as “students” and their actions have even spawned a fiery op-ed by the editor of Lot’s Wife herself. However, despite the attention, there’s been little response by the group of Mannix residents who found themselves in hot water this week after they posted photos posing nude among shredded copies of the Monash student magazine.

That silence has remained unbroken… until now.

Earlier today, the group of Mannix residents involved in the incident reached out to Radio Monash via our Facebook page – communicating solely by voice messages – wishing to clarify their intentions.

Our actions have been totally taken out of context” the message stated. The group insisted there were no political statements attached to the photos; adding “We had no idea of what the magazine was, given no one in Mannix can actually read!”“

The concept of English and the written word have never exactly been encouraged in our community… there’s simply no time when you have to factor in ‘terrorising women’, ‘vandalising property’ and ‘assaulting vegans’ within our schedules” the messages continued.

Given the stupidity of their actions, Radio Monash’s Broken News team had no hesitation in believing these claims about the initial incident. We did, however, question whether or not the same allowances could be made for the group’s further actions which included a second naked photo-shoot being used as the cover art for “The Pigeon” – The Mannix Student Society’s biannual newsletter.

Once we became aware that the magazines were in fact issues of Lot’s Wife we decided to become even more intimate with the pages” the messages asserted. “Surely being in such close proximity to the magazine’s incredible content would rub off something of intellectual value on our lacking minds.”

 “The cover art again was an informed choice” the group clarified. “By featuring issues of Lot’s Wife on the cover it marked the first time in recent history that anything of quality was showcased in the pages of The Pigeon.”

Radio Monash, akin to Lot’s Wife, is a media organisation whose continued existence and success is due solely to the talents and efforts of student volunteers. As such, we have the responsibility to share in the outrage directed at any individuals that have disrespected and defiled that effort.

What a relief that the group involved have clarified their motivations.

Radio Monash’s Broken News is quite obviously the most accurate, well researched and utterly truthful source of bullshit on the internet. Do not consume if seal is broken.